Accepting my Multi-Passionate Self

This week I’ve been on site with a client, as I return to the land of engineering and computational fluid dynamics (CFD). I was worried about jumping back into the profession after my previous experiences, but when an old friend of mine called with the opportunity, he emphasized that these were great people. 

I took a chance and decided to go for it because maybe, just maybe, it was only my past company or industry that was especially toxic. I also thought: wouldn’t it be nice to get paid for all the niche knowledge that’s been collected in my technical brain over the last decade? 

Explaining the Engineering Gap Year

Inevitably, in conversation, the question of why I left engineering in the first place came up, as well as how I’ve been supporting myself over the last 18 months. 

I actually found myself a bit embarrassed as I was explaining how I shifted gears and became an editor and then a writer, before deciding to do more technical work. I felt like admitting that I enjoyed something creative was a chink in my technical expert armour. 

I put my own spin on things and began to assume that the thoughtful questions and interest in my career and life were signs of disappointment or disgust at leaving such a highly respected profession. But in reality, no one was anything less than kind. People were just interested in how I managed to still be busy and bring in money. 

I was the only one questioning my technical prowess, because I also have space in my life for being a writer, business owner and creative. 

Multi-Passionates: Accepting the Whole

Even when I was a full-time employee as an engineer though, I was toying with other business ideas, creative pursuits and other ways to engage my brain. I worked part-time towards the end of my job as a fitness instructor and I was always reading, writing and learning. 

In high school, I was heavily involved in music until my last year, when I decided that I couldn’t be both engineering-focused and artistically-inclined. It felt like too much on my plate. 

But that one-track focus from undergrad, through two Masters degrees and into the field didn’t allow for the other sides of my personality to be nurtured. On top of that the culture was so toxic and fixated on hours worked and toughness that to admit all my other passions would be inviting in more criticism and comments than I couldn’t handle. 

Similar to my fear of rejection from my colleagues, I was scared this week to admit just how multi-passionate I am to new contacts. But everyone here has been welcoming, friendly and accepting. Even of some crazy writing-business-owning engineering consultant that is helping them to learn CFD and solve problems with software. 

Don’t Justify Who You Are, Embrace It

Some of us just aren’t whole without a myriad of pursuits on at the same time. There’s nothing right or wrong about being multi-passionate, nor do you need to worry about justifying it to others. Or more importantly, to yourself.